I don’t know where I first heard the comedic line above but jokingly I’ve heard LOTS of people use it, again and again.
Unless we are licensed healthcare professionals, we do not diagnose, but we can learn through constant study, the best ways to recognize the dominant traits in our clients and through that help them better – if for no other reason than we simply know how to communicate with them better.
Over the years there have been a lot of serious (and some not-so-serious) studies trying to group personality traits together for the people we meet. The reason – if we know these things we can accomplish more. Let me explain.
It’s a trait and type approach. This idea states that there are stable inner qualities reflected in human behavior. These are qualities that people carry around with them and are part of them. Another way to think of it is people are different in their motives and these motives are reflected in the differences in behavior.
Jung was close to what I have observed when he taught people were mainly extroverts or introverts.
I believe that a TRUE extrovert is rare and you won’t be able to do much with them anyway. They would never seek us out for hypnotherapy because in their mind it would indicate a weakness or a need.
Introverts, on the other hand seem to be divided into two groups, submissive and aggressive.
Current thought treats trait dimensions as NOMOTHETIC. This word describes thinking that indicates how people differ but assumes the actual trait dimensions are the same for everyone. They are just more pronounced in some than others.
The IDEOGRAPHIC approach emphasizes we are unique and treats some traits as unique to specific persons.
It’s all about recognizing traits that apply to submissive and aggressive persons. Some studies list 5 traits; I studied one that had 16!
Common sense is the rule here. Take a piece of paper and write “submissive” at the top of one column and “aggressive” at the top of the other and think about the people you’ve known. Family, friends, enemies, business associates, schoolmates, military pals – whoever. List things you noticed about them that would fall into one of these two categories. You’ll be amazed at how many you already know. It’s a part of basic human interaction to do so. We just need to “hone” it a bit to be more successful in what we do.
Let me help. How about:
(I came up with about 150!)
If you recognize these traits and simply identify them in your first session with new patients….or at least enough of them to say “this person has more submissive than aggressive tendencies, etc. THEN you can lead that person more easily in your conversation, in your pre hypnotic session, in your hypnotic language and in post hypnotic suggestions. If we chat and I observe that you are submissive by nature, I simply use “key” words in our conversation to LEAD you. “I’m going to”…”Today you WILL”…. “I want you…” even more aggressive commands, as many of you well know will be more effective.
Now if you have a quite aggressive person, use the words “you” and “your”. “I commend a person like YOU for taking the step to stop smoking”. “I know YOUR decision to change your life and get your weight under control will succeed”.
I PROMISE you it will make you more effective and successful and it’s such a simple thing. Experienced sales people instinctively know this. Now, use it and watch your sessions be more effective!